


Out Of The Darkness

by OnTheGround2012



Series: All I Saw Was You [9]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alpha Derek Hale, Alternate Universe, Amnesia, Angst, Drama, Kidnapping, M/M, Marriage, Mates, Memories, Nobody is Dead, Original Character(s), Psychological Torture, Questions, Torture, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-08
Updated: 2015-08-08
Packaged: 2018-04-13 15:37:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4527687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnTheGround2012/pseuds/OnTheGround2012
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Deals are made to be broken..."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Out Of The Darkness

**Author's Note:**

> I'd really love ot of you let me know what you think... ot if you like it. Kudos are great too.
> 
> *Warning: Descriptions of torture. I'm not into violence at all so I tried that it was something that I could read.
> 
> This part has been a huge challenge and it's something I wanted to do but I had no idea how to do it. I knew it would be really hard to write and I wanted it to feel real but I was also afraid of doing it too explicit so it's taken me a long time to decide to give it a try. I hope some people will like it.
> 
> Thanks to Colton Haynes for inspiring me to write again. 
> 
> [Motionalocean](http://archiveofourown.org/users/motionalocean/pseuds/motionalocean), I can't thank you enough for your great advice and improving this part so much.
> 
> Thanks to the readers who encouraged me to continue.
> 
> Title from Bo Bruce's "Over & Over (Run with the Horses)"

[ ](http://imgur.com/gMM4jc2)

 

 

He can't breathe. The rope around his neck is almost choking him completely. He's got his hands pulling up on the rope, trying to lift himself up, as it helps him to breathe and fight the constant pressure against his throat. After so many hours, he can notice the fibers biting into his hands which, as a consequence, are bleeding and impossibly raspy.

Sweat drips through the grime streaking his body, and his briefs cling against his skin. Only his toes can touch the ground, which is slick with water. He's dead tired and impossibly thirsty but all that is forgotten as the booster cables make contact with the skin on his stomach and his body trembles from head to toe. He screams with pain as tears continually fall over his cheeks.

"Leave him alone, you motherfuckers! He's human! Fucking human! Sick bastards, you're gonna fucking kill him!" Jackson screams a few feet away from him. He strains against his binds, but the wolfsbane has done its work and Jackson can’t break free.

"Stop it!" Jackson continues as sounds of the electricity echoes in the basement.

Finally, as the electric charge stops, Stiles feels like he's reached his limit and there's no way he could endure this torture anymore. His arms and legs feel completely numb and he feels like letting go... like resting his weight on the rope around his neck and just making it stop.

"Let him go! It's me you want, I'm Derek's beta! He's nothing to him. But he's the sheriff's son, you're only fucking yourself if he dies!" Jackson screams once more.

As his muscles stop spasming, the roaring in his ears calms and he can hear Jackson yelling. He looks over, sees him in a similar state, only the rope is around his wrists instead of his neck. He's straining against wolfsbane-laced ropes, sees him bleeding from his bindings, and finds it in him to lift his hands once more, to pull himself up and take another deep breath.

"Stiles, don't close your eyes! Don't fucking close your eyes! Do you hear me?" Jackson shouts at him.

"You can't give up now! Don't you dare give these fuckers the satisfaction! Do you hear me Stiles?" Jackson insists.

Stiles doesn't have the strength to answer but he looks at Jackson again. His chest is covered in blood from the cuts and something breaks inside him. He wishes he could say something... or do something... which is stupid, he can't even utter a word. But he doesn't close his eyes. Jackson looks at him and he nods at him as their eyes meet.

"If you don't shut up right now I'm gonna cut out your tongue and feed it to the dogs. And next, I'll cut off your pretty nose and your lips!" the kidnapper shouts as he steps back from Stiles.

But Jackson has never been one to shut up on command. "What the fuck is your problem, asshole? I thought you had a deal with Derek. Your pack made a deal with his family years ago, didn't they?"

"Yeah, but deals are made to be broken..." the kidnapper moves closer to Stiles again and grabs his left hand despite Stiles's efforts to pull away. "And so are necks and fingers." He bends Stiles's index finger back, effectively breaking it.

As Stiles screams in pain once again, he hears another voice far away trying to get through.

"Son! Wake up! You're dreaming! It's a nightmare, Stiles! Wake up!"

Slowly the voice becomes louder and stronger until he can hear it clearly over his own screams and they start to fade away.

"Stiles! Wake up! Wake up!" He opens his eyes slowly.

His father’s worried face fills his vision, and he feels his sheets around him, soft and familiar. He's not in a basement but in bed, the guest room at his father's house.

"Dad," Stiles finally says, voice hoarse. "It's okay, I'm awake."

"I'm okay," he insists as he sees his father's furrowed expression.

"You're sweating," the sheriff says as he touches his forehead with his right hand.

"What happened?" Stiles asks, still totally confused as he sees his father putting his gun down.

“You were yelling. It woke me up, I thought there was someone in the house. You scared the hell out of me, kid. I thought you hadn’t had one of these nightmares in years.”

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry I woke you up. I'm such a mess." Stiles runs his fingers through his sweaty hair. His stomach doesn’t hurt anymore, but he finds one hand running over the skin there, unable to believe there was no mark, with the event so fresh in his mind.

"Don't be silly, you have nothing to be sorry about. I'm glad I was here," the sheriff insists. "You're soaking wet though, what happened? You didn't tell me you were having nightmares. You should have told me."

"I didn't." Stiles shakes his head and pushes the bedspread off. "It's the first time since the coma."

"The first time?"

"Yeah, at first I had problems sleeping in that bed... I mean," Stiles closes his eyes for a second, "in _my_ bed," he clarifies. "Because it's kind of hard, y'know? It's not like my old bed, but after a while I got used to it I guess. I didn't want to make Jackson buy another one... he offered but I don't know, if I'm honest it felt wrong after..." and he's babbling and getting off topic so he stops. He shakes his head, "I mean, yes... yes, it was the first time."

"Son, was it a dream or did you remember something?"

"It was a dream but yeah, I remembered. It was real. I could feel it and I know... I _know_ it. I was there... it's not like something that happened to somebody else. It was me."

"You were being tortured, weren't you?" Because there's no point in sugarcoating things.

Stiles can't hide his surprise at the question, "how did you...?"

"Know?" the sheriff ends for him. "That's easy. You had the same dream many years ago. After the Esiban pack kidnapped you. I was sure Jackson told you about it though."

"Well, Jackson told me _some stuff_. His very own G rated version of it, apparently. I insisted but he said he was my _fucking_ husband," sarcasm all over his tone, "and wouldn't tell me all the details." He chuckles wryly and shakes his head. "He said there were things that I didn't need to know, that would only hurt me. So I couldn't get it out of him and, of course, I couldn't ask anybody else in the pack because I knew they'd say it was not their place to tell me... so I gave up. I thought I didn't need to know."

"But now you do remember," the sheriff states seriously.

"I do. At least part of it." Stiles hides his face between his hands for a few seconds before looking at his father again. "I've been trying to remember so hard, Dad... I've been wishing and hoping that I could get my memories back every day and this... this is what I finally remember!" Stiles says louder than he intended.

Stiles closes his eyes before he opens them again and looks away avoiding his father's gaze. "I remember it perfectly... like it was yesterday. It was horrible, dad. It was fucking hell! I could feel the pain so perfectly." It feels like he's chocking again as he thinks about it... like he needs some air as he remembers the feeling of that rope constraining his neck.

He touches his neck as to make sure that he is okay, that there's no reminder of something that seemed to happen just minutes ago.

"Son, you're okay," the sheriff says as he sees the gesture. "There are no scars."

"I'm not _okay_." Maybe his neck doesn't show what happened but it _is_ in his mind now. He's just been through the toughest situation of his life and he can still feel it. He can remember the sound and feeling of the electric current all over his skin and he can't forget Jackson's desperate screams in the aftermath. He's most definitely not feeling anywhere close to even remotely fine.

Stiles looks at his father again to meet his eyes. "You know, I can _still_ feel it... it was _so real_." He looks at his left hand, checking that his fingers are okay, as he closes and opens his hand a couple of times before looking back at his father.

"It was suffocating. This guy... he was having _fun_. He was _enjoying_ hurting us and I..." Stiles shakes his head like he can't believe this really happened to him, "I wanted to _die_... I really did..." he admits as he rests his face on his hands again. "That is what I remember the most. I just wanted it to end. It was too much."

"Yeah, son... I know. You told me. I know what happened. And I wish we had gotten there sooner. I wish you had never been through that. And I don't know why you've remembered this. I'm so sorry Stiles."

"You know, I saw Jackson," Stiles licks his lips.

The sheriff doesn't say anything, just listens.

Stiles looks away from him.

"He was shouting at this guy, the one torturing me. He kept asking him to stop but of course, he didn't listen. He asked him to hurt him instead, he was relentless," surprise obvious in his tone and his expression.

"And I remember other things," Stiles admits, unsure as he figures that his father, like Jackson, didn't want him to remember this episode of his life.

"What do you mean?" The sheriff asks confused.

"I mean, these things... they weren't in the dream but I remember them too. I don't know why," his tone puzzled. "I remember being in a van with Jackson. I was blindfolded and my wrists were tied. I remember them telling us to undress as soon as we got to that basement. I remember Jackson screaming as another blond guy injected wolfsbane into his forearm. I saw another guy cutting his chest numerous times with a kitchen knife. The few times they untied us at night to have a drink and eat a sandwich or something, he gave me part of his food... said that as a werewolf he didn't need so much. So, yeah, I remember how hard it was and how he helped me. I know he was there for me. And I know..."

Somehow this is hard to admit but it's a also a relief because he knows his father will be glad to hear him say it.

"I know I relied on him. And going through something like that… it changed both of us, y'know? I think he was the only one who could understand, for a long time.

"And are you surprised?" The sheriff asks as he can notice it in his tone.

"I don't know..." Stiles says at first. "Yeah, I guess I am... surprised."

"Why? He was part of your pack. He's Derek's beta, you know that."

"I know." Stiles shakes his head trying to find the words. "I know he is... and I know he was part of the pack... like officially, but still, he didn't... I mean, he didn't care about me or Scott. I thought he hated us both. It's hard to wrap my head around it."

"Well, I know he had problems… _integrating_ , I guess... being a part of the pack, at first, but things gradually changed. That's all I can tell you."

Stiles shrugs. "The truth is that he didn't tell me much about this mess, so I guess I didn't know for sure. I couldn't picture it in my mind. But now that I know what really happened... it's not all that bad, y'know? I think it actually helps."

"I understand why he didn't tell you everything. He didn't want you to remember it."

"Yeah, and I do too. I get it now, but I think he was wrong. I think I needed to know what really happened to see why things changed between us... to believe everything that he and everybody else has been telling me."

It helps to see that Jackson was there for him. Even when they weren't together yet, he tried to help him and, in a way, his presence kept him from giving up. And knowing that, things he’s heard since he’s woken from the coma, the way people expect him to be, make more sense now.

"You didn't believe me? You didn't believe Jackson?"

"No, I did. Of course I believed you, but it didn't really change anything. It didn't change the last memories I had and how I felt. It's very difficult to change how you feel _by request_..." he sighs. "Just because you’re told you have to, y'know? It just... it doesn't work that way."

"I know it's been hard for you adapting and dealing with your _new life_. I know you can't help how you feel about them."

"Derek said I didn't try hard enough. He thinks what happened to Jackson is my fault."

"Stiles, Derek is hurting too... He loves Jackson and I wouldn't take anything he says seriously right now --"

"I blamed him," Stiles interrupts him. "That's why we argued that night. I said it was his fault for letting Jackson run with the pack. I said some pretty nasty things..."

"It seems to me like you both said things you didn't mean. I think you both need to talk again when things calm down."

"I told him the Stiles he knew is gone and that's true. I meant that. He... they... they all need to understand that I'm not that person anymore. They need to give me some space like you have. But yeah, I'll talk to Derek again... I guess that maybe I shouldn't have left Jackson and Daniel. I haven't been able to get it out of my head since he said that... I've been thinking about it all week and I think there was some truth in what he said." He sighs.

"Don't get me wrong, I know why I came here, I know I had my reasons but some things I did... or didn't do when I was there... I guess I'd try to do it differently if I had the chance," Stiles admits.

"You'll have the chance. I'm sure you will," the sheriff tries to reassure him.

"But you don't know that." It's been a week since that night and Jackson's condition hasn't changed. He goes to visit him every day but Scott and Deaton have also promised to call him if anything happens.

The sheriff just looks at him unsure of how to respond because it's the damn truth, nobody knows what might happen.

Stiles suddenly feels antsy, sitting in his childhood home when there are people who depend on him. There’s nothing he can do for Jackson right now, but Daniel…

"I'm going to start by taking Daniel home. I mean, to our home. As much as he loves spending time with you, he wants his room and his bed... he misses it and I understand that."

"He told you that?" The Sheriff wonders.

"Oh yeah, last night when I put him to bed." Stiles can't help the smile on his face as he remembers. "Out of the blue, he said, 'want my bed daddy, when goin home? I want home, I want dad'," Stiles tries to imitate his son’s tone and speech, making the sheriff smile. "

"He sounded so sad... it took me by surprise, I guess. I thought he was okay here with both of us but maybe I was wrong."

"This kid... I don't know... he needs stability. First, he was with Scott, then his grandparents, now here... and we all love him and he knows that but he's just a kid and he wants to be at home with his parents; that's his perfect world and that's not how it's been for a long time now so of course, he misses it, as simple as that."

"I know, and he's my responsibility." Stiles shakes his head as everything that has been going through his mind this week overwhelms him at once and his voice breaks. "He depends on me now. I'm gonna take good care of him, dad. I won't disappoint you or Jackson."

The sheriff moves closer and hugs him tight as he runs his right hand across Stiles's back. "I promise you." Stiles’s voice is muffled against the sheriff's neck.

"I know you will," the sheriff whispers close to his son's ear.

**Author's Note:**

> * You can find me [on Tumblr.](http://otg2012.tumblr.com/)
> 
> * I've updated the ["All I Saw Was You" Companion.](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3825325) Now it includes chapter 8.
> 
> * The feedback I receive will determine if this is the final chapter.
> 
> (For those who maybe don't know, you don't need an account to comment.)


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